Last Updated: May 18th, 2021
In parenting styles, there is a great variation in how you raise your children. These parenting styles refer to different strategies used to raise the children.
Parenting is a collection of rules, skills, and tricks of the trade, it is also about who you are, what your culture is, and how you transmit the important personal aspects of your values to your offspring.
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Parenting style affects everything related to your children. It is important to make your parenting style more effective that supports the healthy growth and development of your children. This is because of the way you interact with them and how you discipline them influences them for the rest of their life. Your parenting style impacts their mental health as well as behavior. So, you should be very careful while nurturing them.
Studies have shown that there are some more effective parenting styles than others and show better results for children. Research has recognized four major parenting styles. Each style has a different approach and identified by different characteristics in raising children.
Authoritative parents expect much from their kids but they expect more from their own behavior towards their kids. They agree to say “No”, but they are also careful to remain patient, calm, and kind about empathizing with the perspective of their child. They have rules but they also consider their children’s opinions.
Communication in authoritative parenting is appropriate and frequent to the kid’s level of understanding. They respect and validate their feelings but also make them realize that as parents, they are ultimately in charge. In an authoritative parent style, the rules are clear to the children, and the reason behind them is also explained well.
The parents of authoritative style invest their time and energy to prevent behavior problems in their children before they start. They always use positive strategies to develop good behavior such as admiration and reward systems.
Children of authoritative parents are more responsible who feel comfortable in expressing their views and opinions. They are happy and successful in their life. The decision power of these children is also good and they can also evaluate safety risks.
Although the authoritative style creates the healthiest outcomes for the children yet, it needs much patience and struggles to ensure that everyone is being heard. Additionally, sometimes rules have to be adjusted that can be hard for the parents and the kids.
If you do not consider the feelings of your kid, you are an authoritarian parent. This is strict, rule-based parenting. Authoritarian parents believe that kids should follow their rules without exception. They are disciplinarians and use a strict discipline style.
They believe that kids just should be seen, not heard. In authoritarian parenting, rules normally are not explained. If a child questions about the reason behind any rule, the common statement of authoritarian parents is “Because I said so”. They do not want to negotiate with their kids and just focus on obedience by the children.
Authoritarian parents do not allow their children to involve in obstacles and problem-solving challenges. They also use punishment rather than discipline. So, they make their children feel sorry for their mistakes instead of teaching them how to make better choices. These types of parents are usually not warm and less nurturing. They keep high expectations with limited flexibility. Unlike permissive parents who want to be liked, authoritarian parents want to be respected.
Discipline must be a part of life, but there must be flexibility. In an authoritarian parent style, children become aggressive and hostile because they have to follow rules at any cost. . They feel anger towards their parents instead of thinking about how to do things better.
The children of authoritarian parents often become good liars as the parents are strict in rules and discipline and they make an effort to escape from punishment. There may be problems of self-esteem in the children of authoritarian parents because their opinions are not valued.
Permissive parents are lenient. These parents only step into their children’s matters when there is a serious problem. Permissive parents are quite forgiving. They have overwhelming affection for their children.
This parenting style is common in these days of busy schedules, where father and mother both work. They think that we can’t get enough time with our kids. We love our children and we must not say them “No”. permissive parents have limited or no rules as well as limited expectations that are not set by them. Permissive parents tend to be nurturing and warm.
This type of parents acts more like friends than parents. Communication between children and parents is open. They encourage their kids to talk with them regarding their problems, but they normally do not put enough effort into discouraging bad behavior or poor choices. In permissive parenting, children get more love and attention from their parents. Their all wishes are fulfilled and they get everything they demand from their parents.
But the bad point is that to fulfill every desire of the children results badly both for the parents and child. Permissive parents do not think about the long-term results of their parenting style. The children show more behavioral problems because they do not appreciate rules and authority.
They usually have low self-esteem and report a lot of sadness. They can also be at risk for health problems such as obesity because permissive parents don’t struggle to limit the intake of junk food. They can even more likely have dental problems like cavities because parents don’t enforce good habits such as proper brushing their teeth.
So, do not dismiss your wish to make your kid happy. Rather consider his long-term happiness a little more. Focus on what will make your child happy tomorrow or after many years. The answer can make you seem a bit stricter at the moment, but you will know that you were acting from your impulse, your love for your kid.
Neglectful or uninvolved parents give their children a lot of freedom and normally stay out of their way. They let their child do what he wants. The communication between the children and parents is limited so they have no emotional attachment. The parents have few or no expectations.
Neglectful parents expect their kids to raise themselves. They do not invest much time and energy to meet the basic needs of their children. There may be a chance that these types of parents have some mental issues or abuse problems. They are not able to care for the physical and emotional needs of their child consistently.
These parents lack knowledge about the development of their children. Sometimes, they are overwhelmed with other problems such as work, paying bills, or managing a household. The children of neglectful parents have poor performance at school. They usually face self-esteem issues as well as other behavior problems and remain unhappy.
The parents have little knowledge about the activities of their children. They have fewer or no rules and their children don’t receive their time, nurturing guidance, and parental attention. The parents do not ask their kids about school and homework.
Although, in this parenting style, the students have more freedom and no check and balance, unlike other parenting styles. Yet it has more cons. As they receive no proper guidance so the chance to choose the wrong directions is very high. There is a risk of bad consequences of this parenting style that the children, as well as the parents, have to face.
If we talk about the most effective parenting style, the authoritative style is best among all styles. It provides flexibility to the children rather than imposing rules forcefully. The authoritative parents make their children obedient but at the same time, they also respect their feelings, thoughts, and opinions. Their children are more successful and confident in their life.
There are several parenting styles but you should adopt one that is flexible to adjust by your children. You can also adopt the best practices from other parenting styles. Make sure to keep into consideration the long-term consequences. Your children are your responsibility, so it is important to keep them at first preference as parenting is such a delicate matter. Whatever you teach them by your behavior and style, will have a great impact on their life.
Here are 5 child-parenting tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
Do you set rules for your children?
Is there any flexibility in the rules set by you?
How much time and energy do you invest in your children?
How is your communication with your children?
Is there a strong bonding and emotional understanding between you and your children that they share their opinions with you?
Fill out this quiz at PsychCentral to find out what type parent are you.